Flight: Chicago to London (Part 1)

Flying United is like an anti-commercial. It's an advertisement to fly any other airline. First off, there is a crap economy that is worse than what used to be regular economy (now called "economy plus"). The seats are smaller, and the technology is so antiquated I'm not even sure I can use it. I miss the Delta flights with complimentary beer & wine (it's not on United!) and the big interactive TV screens in the back of the seat in front of you. I have a tiny screen that's less than a 6" square and it doesn't have touch capability. The controls in the arm work the TV, and there are only 3 movie choices. I had 15 or more on my flight back from Ireland in 2009. Get with the times United! I'll just watch a movie on my iPad and then catch a nice, long snooze. I know I won't be able to sleep the whole 8 hours because my body still thinks it's about 5pm. Hopefully after a movie I'll be sleepy.

The first 10 minutes on the plane there was a screaming baby right behind me. God, I hope he calms down and stays that way.

Never are class lines more apparent than when on an international flight. The people in first class have the nice beds to sleep in, the people in business class have the nice, wide train-style seats that face each other (with the big TV screens), and even the economy plus people have seats that look more comfy than mine.

Port Orleans Riverside

Princess Room (2012)

Aladdin in the carpet

I'm back at Disney for what feels like the millionth time, and I'm spending my second stay at Port Orleans Riverside (formerly Dixie Landings). Last time I stayed in one of the princess suites, which had amazing Disney princess-themed decorations like the flying carpet from Aladdin made into the carpet, the genie's lamp as a faucet, and a bayou "fireworks" show made into the headboard.

Genie's lamp faucet

This trip we are staying in Magnolia Bend, which has a plantation theme. There are 4 named sections in Magnolia Bend -- Acadian House (where we stayed), Parterre Place, Oak Manor, and Magnolia Terrace. Both Parterre Place and Oak Manor feature princess rooms. The décor in our Acadian House room is different but just as nice, and these rooms have a more "grown up" feel to them. Definitely more fancy than princessy. I still like the princess room better for the touch of Disney in the details, but for adult visitors these rooms would probably be preferable (and are cheaper).

Acadian House room (2014)

One of my favorite things about staying on the Disney property (besides the transportation to and from the parks) is the Disney Dining Plan. This is a huge money-saver that also allows you to know up front how much your food will cost, and in many ways allows you to try more things than you normally would since more than just an entrée is included. Last time we had the Deluxe plan which included an entrée, appetizer, dessert, and drink for lunch and dinner which basically left you in a food coma by the end of the day. This time, on a simpler plan only the entrée, dessert, and drink are included. It's still a lot of food, but it's nice to be able to indulge by trying things I would never order if I were paying out-of-pocket for meals.

 Resort guests also get a free refillable mug with the Dining Plan, which you can refill with coffee, soda, water, hot chocolate, and maybe even more in the resort's food court. But now they are "smart cups" and the drink dispensers know when your refills run out. At first I thought this was an awesome innovation, but it's become more like the biggest unnecessary hassle I've experienced so far. I got a Coke out of one of the machines that came out like brown water because the syrup was low. So, no big deal... I go to another machine. Then I find out the catch to the smart cup. You have to wait 3 minutes between refills. The drink machines won't dispense liquid other than water without a cup in the tray, and the Cast Members say there is no way to override the machine or the refill waiting time. So by the end of the big fiasco with waiting and trying another one that was also empty I had to wait 30 minutes to get a drink. Time is scarce in this place where you have to wait on everything (rides, food, buses) so waiting on a drink for that long is completely unacceptable. And having no way to override the cups when there is a problem is just poor design.

Charles de Gaulle Layover, Part 2

As soon as I said something about wanting a shower, water started pouring from the ceiling two gates over. It went undiscovered for about 30 minutes, and by then it had created a small lake by gate E24. Take that Paris!

I've been passing the time talking to a woman on her way back home to Ireland from a visit to Nigeria. I told her how shocked I was at Coke prices here, and she came back from the restroom with a Diet Coke ("Coke Light") for me. Her name's Esther and she has a daughter who's cute and very energetic because she didn't sleep on the plane to Paris.

They ended up moving everyone on our half of the terminal to the other side so we didn't have to smell the stinky water smell anymore, but we were completely fine where we were.

Charles de Gaulle Layover, Part 1

(what I assume is about 6am France time)

The plane landed early (joy! An even longer layover!), around 5am France time. Paris was so pretty because it was all lit up in the dark. Breakfast on the plane was an egg and cheese biscuit with raisins (yuck) and OJ in one of those little containers the water came in. The man next to me was polite, but not nice, and he smelled a little bit when he put his arms up (which thankfully he didn't do much once we were settled). The guy in front of me had the highest voice I think I've ever heard coming out of a man's mouth. The old guy next to me was apparently going to Marseilles with a bunch of his old guy buddies, and the guy in front was going to Barcelona to study opera for 5 weeks. Seems like I just attract voice majors wherever I go! He is a sophomore and loved laughing at his own statements every 5 seconds. Not his own jokes, just statements. My opinions on the Paris airport are going to be written in the form of a letter to a friend, who asked for my opinion on de Gaulle.

Friend --

The Paris airport (well, Charles de Gaulle anyways, but no one really counts Orly) is beautiful architecturally from what I saw of this terminal in the dark. The walkways from the plane are metal and glass, which is way better than those beige boxes they have in America. But that's where the niceness ends. The carpet inside when we got off was a garish red (not what you want to see at 5am), and the people movers are so slow I was walking faster than the people on them.

I had to go through security again and they made me throw away the wine and Coke I saved from the plane. Their bins are more like cafeteria trays than bins, and every electronic item has to be in them. This was not good for me, because I had to hold up the line getting various devices from both my purse and my backpack.

There's no gate on my ticket or on the screen when I get in, and the dude I ask about it is of course a complete a-hole. When I finally find the one screen in the whole airport that has my gate number on it, I find myself in the most ghetto terminal in the whole place. The chairs are mismatched orange and burgundy (vomit!), and I was the only soul here at 5am.

I decide to go to the bathroom (which of course is all the way at the other end of the terminal from my gate -- there's only one) and discover it only has two stalls. Two! The doors make this creepy Haunted Mansion sound when you move them, and the toilet seats are round and impossible to cover. The flush buttons say Presto, and I'm pretty sure that's Italian. And they get mad at me for not speaking French! I brushed my teeth and washed my face so I'd feel human again and they have this contraption that looks like a paper towel dispenser only with some kind of cheap cloth hanging out. I think: cool! Cloth paper towels! (even though that doesn't make sense, you know what I mean) and I go to grab one to wipe my face on. Only it doesn't come off. It comes out where paper towels normally come out, hangs in a loop, and goes back in the other side. I don't have anything to wipe my face on, so I just use the front of it and leave it hanging there. Another girl comes in shortly after and pushes some magic button to make it advance forward so she can wipe her hands on some new cloth, but I think she got some of where my face was. How unsanitary is that? You're using the top of an already used paper (cloth) towel! Oh, and on further inspection, I still couldn't find the magic button.

You know how else I know my terminal's ghetto? It's on the ground! I think I'm going to have to take a bus to the bitty airplane when it gets here. It's also ghetto because the pretty raised terminal apparently has its bathroom right above my head. Every time someone flushes, I hear it. Joy. So my opinion, if you haven't figured it out already, is that Paris blows. Well, the airport anyways. My 5 hour layover wasn't long enough to do anything good.

And another reason to avoid this airport: a can of Coke is €2. That's like $3... For a can!

ATL Layover, Part 2

I've walked back to the A terminal after breaking the seal in T (and again in A, even though you can't technically break it twice). I've stationed myself in the neighboring terminal so I can sit in front of the Cinnabon in case the drunk munchies strike (and even if they don't, I still want one!). I spent my remaining time in T talking to the bartender and Afghanistan man about international drinking ages. I spent $11 before tip on the margarita (that's almost a pitcher at La Ha... highway robbery!) and didn't realize until after I left that I added wrong. Now she's gonna think I'm an idiot. Or a drunk.

I realized while I was walking over that I've flown in and out of ATL as many, if not more, times than I've flown out of Charleston. I think that's odd. I'm a big hater of the ATL bathroom sinks too. They squirt out enough water to wash a third of one hand and then stop so you have to wave your soapy, partially wet hand around like an idiot until it will squirt again. They need to recalibrate those things.

I'm going to either read or watch TV on my iPod until I get the Cinnabon craving (yum!).